Home

Lying Lips

He says he wants to change and he will try.

For how long will I believe the same worn-out lie?

He says it over and over again, yet, nothing has changed, and I wonder when…

Will I ever learn from the same mistakes?

To see the signs before my heart breaks.

I should have seen it right from the start.

All along he loved me but with an empty heart.

He was a broken human I thought I could fix.

I didn’t know I had to put my own life at risk.

When you find yourself at the bottom of the ocean,

With no more strength to keep on going.

Don’t give up, don’t give in,

All you have to do is learn how to swim.

I was there, broken and destroyed.

But he was something else,

He was two-faced and paranoid.

It didn’t matter if I was wrong or right,

All that mattered to him was winning the fight.

He couldn’t understand and he couldn’t see,

Because he was too busy finding faults in me.

Sometimes it felt like I was talking to a wall,

Once he heard me cry and felt nothing at all.

When I realized what he truly was, it was already too late,

He had put my heart in prison, and there was nowhere to escape.

I had turned into someone else,

Constantly walking on eggshells.

Scared of saying things he thought were wrong,

Scared of being punished for something I hadn’t even done.

I thought “nobody understands,” and suddenly, I was all alone.

I had no more friends, they all left, one by one.

I had turned into an easy target, all on my own.

By the look on his face, he thought he had won.

I was lonely and full of shame,

I could hardly look at myself in the mirror.

Because I knew, I only had myself to blame,

For not being able to see things clearer.

For thinking I could turn someone cold into warm,

For failing to protect myself from someone

Who only knew how to harm.

I wasn’t paying attention enough

To recognize all the damage he had caused.

On my soul, on my body, and on my heart.

Not until I started to collect the scattered pieces, part by part,

I realized, for far too long, I had let him make me feel

This is what I am worth.

Far too long, he had made me think

I deserve to be hurt.

It was time to pick up the shields and the swords,

Remove all the power of his meaningless words.

Now when I am finally free, I can figure out who I truly am.

Brick by brick, I can build myself up again.

With time I will learn how to move on from this,

Although I believed every word from his lying lips.

Lämna en kommentar

  • Why I write

    Anyone who truly knows me has heard me at least once say, “All I need is a pen and paper and I am the happiest person on this earth.” I don’t remember when or how I fell in love with writing. I don’t recall a specific moment in my life when I discovered my predilection…

  • Individuality or Individualism

    One day, while I was on the train back to university after spending some time with my family, I was seated next to an American girl. She was particularly loquacious and immediately made contact with me. We talked throughout the whole train ride and she told me she was a Mormon currently in Sweden to…

  • A Vindication of a Brilliant Philosopher

    A few days ago, I had a friend read my latest post: “What drives me.” When I asked what she thought about it, she only had one question in her mind: “What about the women?” “What do you mean?” “What about the women’s rights?” Then she began telling me about the plight of women around…

  • What Drives Me

    In the documentary Cristiano Ronaldo: Tested to the Limit, researchers examined everything from Ronaldo’s physical abilities to his cognitive performance in an effort to understand what makes him one of the world’s greatest footballers. Successful people have long fascinated researchers across a wide range of disciplines. Psychologists study their personalities and behaviors, neuroscientists study their…

  • The Comfort Zone

    I’ve always had two superpowers. First, I can always tell when an avocado is perfectly ripe. I somehow always manage to pick the best ones. Considering how expensive avocados are, it’s a rather useful superpower. The second one is invisibility. I’ve always been invisible. Always been the one people forget, the one they don’t notice,…

  • Elderly People

    The past few weeks of my life have been largely focused on elderly people. First, my grandmother suffered a fall in the bathroom and became bedridden. My grandfather was suddenly left to take care of all the chores around the house. Only a week later, he was diagnosed with four blood clots and needed emergency…

  • Smart or Intelligent?

    There was a guy in my class in middle school whom I remember vividly. He skipped many classes, and in the classes he did attend, he slept through most of them. Every now and then, he would wake up from his nap and speak out of turn. He would often question what the teacher was…

  • My Favorite Athlete

    I was twelve years old when I watched my first handball game on TV. It was a quarterfinal in the Swedish Championship between Hammarby IF and Eskilstuna GUIF. GUIF had to win or face elimination. There was one player on the GUIF team, in particular, who caught my attention. He was only seventeen years old…

  • Beauty and Attraction

    The idea for this post came to me after watching a documentary called The strongest wins—which follows young men as they open up and share their experiences with male body ideals and eating disorders. The documentary aims to portray the world young men are exposed to every day, where “muscles have become the new measure…

  • My Favorite Quotes

    I have over 7,000 pictures saved on my phone and probably half of them are quotes. I think it’s safe to say that I’m a huge lover of quotes. Therefore, putting together a post featuring my favorites has been particularly challenging—I’ve had quite a few to sort through. What makes a quote truly memorable? In…

  • 100 Things I Love

    When I was younger, I read a self-help book about the power of gratitude. The book recommended writing down ten things you were grateful for each night before falling asleep. The purpose was to shift your focus from negative to positive ones—or even to what I’d call “positive negatives,” such as being grateful that your…